Busy-ness.....

Wow, Just kind of realized what is coming up over the next week or so. Gonna be some good times, gonna be some hard times....

Wednesday...Michigan Adventure. :) It will be my first event with the youth group as a small group leader. Should be a good time.

Thursday....My grandpa's birthday. We are celebrating Thursday night at some point. Should be interesting since I'll be around my whole family and things are still very strained with my aunts.

Friday....The calm before the storm...I hope anyway. Nothing too exciting planned, it will be a good day to rest before the crazy weekend.

Saturday...One of the hardest days to deal with. The auction at my great-grandma's house. I'm going only for the fact that this could possibly be the last time I set foot in her house. I miss her like crazy...and can't believe that everything with her estate is almost over. The auction is one of the final steps.

Sunday...Pastor Glenn's last Sunday. This will be so difficult. He's been at our church for 19 years. I am always amazed by his attitude. He has been there for me through so much and after next week, he'll be onto his next calling. I will miss his smiling face and his hugs....I always make sure to get one. And, for his care and concern. He is by far my favorite pastor ever....

Tuesday....My grandma's first chemo treatment. My grandma lives in PA so I won't be around to watch her go through this, but just knowing that it's all starting again is difficult. I'm in constant prayer for her that everything goes smoothly.

Thursday....My dad's birthday. He would have been 52 years old this year. That still seems so young. And, to think he's been gone for 14 years. I miss my daddy lots.

Saturday/Sunday....The James M. Eddy Memorial Go-Kart Race. This is a family event. We started this in memory of my dad. As a family we go and race go-karts and then have cake. It's a way for us to remember my dad as a family, doing something that he loved. We have a trophy and everything. Unfortunately, I suck at go-kart racing, so I have never gotten the trophy. Maybe this is my year????

Anyway, that's my next week and a half. Hopefully I'll get a bunch of good stuff mixed in with this stuff....

God Bless~~~

Changes....

So, a lot of changes are coming about.

First, one of my good friends, Christina, got engaged a couple of weekends ago. :) I am so excited for her. She's been an amazing friend and has been there with me through so much...she has pushed me harder in faith and my relationship with Jesus Christ more than anyone else. She has always believed in me...knew that I could do it. Rod is an amazing guy and I can't wait for them to be husband and wife. He proposed in the most amazing way....in an airplane at sunset. :)

Next, my grandma's cancer is back. It's definitely a change. I thought I didn't have to worry about this anymore. It was discovered last Thursday. She had a PET scan on Friday, and we are waiting for the results so we know what kind of treatment will be pursued. It is really changing me....making me give more to God. Letting Him take care of it, knowing that I can do nothing...except PRAY. And, believe me, I've been doing plenty of that.

Another change....I have a job for the next two weeks. :) Kind of. Doing a bit of nannying for some girls. :) It was lots of fun today, we'll see what happens over the course of the next few days. And, I might have another family interested in me for childcare starting soon. :)

Also, please pray with me as i decide on my career. :) I am down to two choices, social work and youth ministry, and I'm seeking God to show me where I should be going....

God Bless~~~~

hillary.

what i learned this weekend....

Grand Haven's Coast Guard Festival was this weekend....so much fun!!

Anyway, the last few months have included lots of huge changes for me and lots of stepping out of my comfort zone.

This weekend, I took some pretty big steps...figured out a few things...

1. I can feel comfortable in shorts. :)

2. I do look okay in a bathing suit....

3. At large get-togethers with food, I need to go and sit at a table and eat.

I know that last one sounds really weird, and I actually didn't figure it out until this morning. I always just thought I had trouble eating with big groups....but, if we are at a restaurant or something like that I can still eat some. So, next party, I am going to see if this works for me...I figure maybe if I put a few things on my plate and then go and sit down at a table, I will feel more comfortable. We'll have to see.... :)

That's it. Saturday was an amazing day!!!!

God Bless~~~

Pennsylvania!!!

So, I'm having a blast in PA. Here's some pics from the last few days. :) Today we are off to the swimming pool and I'm sure I'll have some pics of that. I've gotten to spend time with most everyone in my family which is great. I helped my aunt with my cousins and the kids she baby-sits on Friday, on Saturday I went to the family reunion, on Sunday I went to church with my grandma and to a birthday picnic at my cousin's house. Monday, I stayed at my cousin's house and watched her two kids while she worked. :) It's been busy but so much fun to just be able to hang out and experience every day life with them, instead of only special occasions. :)

oh, and just so you know, Hannah Montana: Spotlight World Tour for the Wii is hard to figure out, but we got it and have been having a blast with it. :)

The last few days....

Have been amazingly better. :) I feel somewhat normal again and have been trying to be a part of society.





On Thursday, I went to Grand Haven...my hometown...and met up with my friend, Joni. We walked the boardwalk down to the lighthouse and back and while walking we chatted about everything that's been going on. I was so stupid though and I wore flip flops. I always forget that the walk is farther than I think. After that, I went to my mom's house and did laundry. She met me for lunch...Jimmy Johns. After she got out of work, she took me up to the hospital to see her friend who had just had a baby, Isabel Grace. I brought my camera and got some shots of her...she's beautiful. Here's my fave one....




I ended up staying at my mom's Thursday night. My friend, Christina, informed about a service project on Friday morning in Grand Haven and I thought since I wasn't working, I could be helping with something. :) So, I went to St. Patricks Church and helped Love, INC had out tons of food to people who needed it. I was so amazed at the kindness of these people. I can't imagine how hard it is for them, to step out, and admit that they need help. They were so thankful for what they could get.

After that, I went shopping. I know, it doesn't sound good after just being with people who couldn't even afford food, but I am pretty sure that I am going to have an interview next week, so I needed to get a pair of pants to wear. I found some, along with some other things, including a way cute dress that I can't wait to wear. :)

I got my haircut on Friday, also. Just a trim....kind of. It's definitely shorter. And, I had a visit to Urgent Care cuz I've been so nauseous all week and last night I was having chest pains. Everything looks good on the x-ray so I have to call my doc on Monday.

That's about it so far....I ran 3 miles this morning. I haven't been out running for so long, but I just took it so long and easy, and felt so much better. I guess I am feeling the urge to NOT be lazy...

Have a blessed day!!!
hillary.

Sometimes I wish....

That I could be happy. That I could love myself for who I am. That I would be okay eating with a bunch of people. That I could understand that everybody isn't staring at me while I'm eating thinking I'm a pig. That I could ignore this demon that keeps taking control of my body. That I could let go of what the demon is telling me and listen to what my friends are telling me. That a certain boy would realize how much he's lost by letting me go and come running back to me. That I could be honest with him about how much he hurt me. That I could find peace about losing my dad. That God would just wrap his arms around me and hold me until I can find trust again.

The last few days have been rough and these are some of the thoughts running through my head. I'm doing this on my own this time. No therapists....no professional support. Only the support of my friends. It's so hard. I feel like I take 2 steps forward and then 5 steps back. But, at some point, I know I can do it. I can win this battle and be rid of the demons forever....

Please just pray for me as I struggle.

God Bless~~~~
Hillary.

Chicago

I went to Chicago yesterday with my friend, Jill...We stayed at her parents' condo right downtown Chicago. Looking out their window from the seventeenth floor you could see Lake Michigan and all of the docked sailboats. It was so amazing. And, when the fireworks went off last night, we could watch them from the condo....

Yesterday, I walked 12 miles down Lakeshore Dr and Michigan Ave. We went to Millenium Park where I got to see the "bean". That's me and my friend, Jill...she's like my second mom and watches out for me. :) She rocks.....

We also went and saw this fountain thing that tons of people play in....on the sides of the fountain it shows people's faces and then all of a sudden it shoots water out of their "mouth". Way Cool....and a good place to bring kids to play....

This is the Wrigley Building. We walked by this and I thought the U.S. flag hanging from it was pretty sweet....

And, here's the Chicago River. :)

Jill and I went in all sorts of stores. We both love to shop. We didn't buy much though. I got a shirt that has the Chicago Firemens emblem on it since I have many family members that are volunteer firefighters. I saw lots of cute clothes...Eddie Bauer and Gap have adorable things right now. I think I'm gonna have to go and buy them...

At night, we took the bus down to Grant Park where they have this dance thing going on. Last night was stepping. It was interesting to see all the different people. Here's a picture of Jill's parents dancing. They were so cute... :)

After the dancing thing, we went back to the condo and waited for the fireworks. :) I always love the fireworks and I guess they get them twice a week. They were pretty cool....

This morning we got up and left and went to Ikea where I bought a couple of small things and then went on to Michigan City for a little bit to shop the outlet stores. Then, we headed home. It was a whirlwind trip but I had an amazing time and can't wait to go back.....